I've had some ideas for translations for a couple of things, which I'll put here because I have nowhere else to put them. Just for fun, I will typically put in bold the rhyming words (in Middle Chinese), as well as indicate any interesting 平仄 phenomena, particular those invisible in modern Chinese.
The original poem reads:
月黑雁飛高
單于夜遁逃
欲將輕騎逐
大雪滿弓刀
In bold are the three "rhyming feet", rhyming in the class of flat tones, or "压平韵". Note well that the last word of the third line, despite being read as second tone in modern Mandarin, is supposed to be a checked tone according to the laws of poetry -- searching in Flat Water Rhymes ("平水韵") reveals that this is indeed the case in Middle Chinese, where 逐 likely ended with a "-uk" sound.
My (non-strict) translation, maintaining a 七绝-like rhythm per line, reads:
The moon is black and the geese fly high
the Great Khan flees his camp at night
would that light steeds hence make chase
sword and bow in snow-filled flight
This excerpt is a quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet (part of the famous 2bornot2b). It sounds very motivational until you remember he's talking about killing himself.
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.
My attempt at translating this into classical Chinese:
蓋方寸則使萬夫懦，乃故絕決之本色受病於方寸之摧煞也。而驚天地之大業，念此，如湍流入歧途，輒失向來之義名矣。
I only have a good (vibe-wise) translation for the first two lines. I will complete this if I ever get a better idea. The original lines read:
塞下秋來風景異
衡陽雁去無留意
四面邊聲連角起
千嶂裏
長煙落日孤城閉
濁酒一杯家萬里
燕然未勒歸無計
羌管悠悠霜滿地
人不寐
將軍白髮征夫淚
This poem rhymes in the "flux tone", or "仄韵". Note that the last two bold words, despite not rhyming in the rest of the bold words in modern Mandarin, is supposed to rhyme in Middle Chinese. In my over-simplified "head-canon" I would pronounce these rhymes with "-ee" (for example the character 美 is/can be pronounced "mee" in both Korean and Japanese), but reconstructions differ, and in any case my head-canon is considerably less refined than "true" Middle Chinese.
My idea for some lines (again roughly in the same rhythm):
'Neath the ramparts, fall arrives;
fleeing goose flocks bring strange sights.
...
No one sleeps;
The general grows old and the footman weeps.
Updated on 12/12/24, after more than a year. At the Knots In Washington conference I was reminded of this page, and it was suggested to me to translate a Su Shi poem. So I guess I should try my hand at the most famous one. The original lines read:
明月幾時有
把酒問青天
不知天上宮闕
今夕是何年
我欲乘風歸去
又恐瓊樓玉宇
高處不勝寒
起舞弄清影
何似在人間
轉朱閣
低綺戶
照無眠
不應有恨
何事長向別時圓
人有悲歡離合
月有陰晴圓缺
此事古難全
但願人長久
千里共嬋娟
Again I've marked the rhymes, in flat tone throughout. The rhymes are not perfect in modern Mandarin, and indeed I'm not even sure if they're quite perfect in Middle Chinese. My conclusion is that for 词, or poems in the (mostly) Song style, it is acceptable to use "neighboring rhymes", or slant rhymes, from Flat Water Rhymes. I guess this is an instance where it could be beneficial to use a reconstruction which is slightly coarser than "true" Middle Chinese.
My translation, in no particular rhythm but mostly rhyming (I think this would be far harder in English if I had to use the same rhyme across the two halves):
I ask of the drunken skies,
"how oft is the moon so bright?" --
for I know not in the Heavens above
what year it is this night?
I long to depart with the wind
but fear the towers of God --
a derelict watch in the heights.
Then yet make dance with shadows,
and behold otherworldly sights.
O'er the roofs;
under the sills;
spilling upon the restless hearts.
What grudge should drive this wretched moon
to mock those done apart!
Meet and part, joy and grief;
wax and wane, bright and dim;
it has been so since the very start.
We can only share, each in our corner,
upon God's timeless art.
Su Shi of course does not make reference to a god in his original poem; I just figured for an English translation I could borrow this western religious device since religious/folklore/literary devices such as 婵娟 have no English counterpart.
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I also write some poetry in my spare time, especially when I go to conferences. More here.
Last updated: 12/12/24